#2, One Nation Under God

Look at me, two new movies in ONE DAY! Can you tell I've reached the point in my February vacation that I actually have to get work done ... and have somehow convinced myself that rejuvenating this blog -- a task that requires deviations along the lines of watching a movie or 10 -- is a viable reason not to be working on stuff that I really should? Can you? Because that is totally what has happened here.

#2: One Nation Under God (1993, documentary)

This is a really great look at ministries and even secular groups that have tried to cure people of homosexuality. The structure is largely chronological and there are equal parts video footage and talking heads. The film seems to center partially around the story Gary Cooper and Michael Bussee, two founding members of the uber-creepy Exodus group, who fell in love, renounced Exodus and lived a beautiful life together until Cooper died in 1991.

The directors did a really great job of framing and exploring the issue, as the film moved from historic perspectives through the changing thoughts from psychology -- then into the HOW (info on the therapy itself) -- then into the bigger issues: the effects of ex-gay therapy, how it promotes further homophobia, lgbt community as scapegoats and how homosexuality has been sort of co-opted by the Right Wing.

There were several aha! moments that made me punch the air triumphantly, the biggest one being where several people began explaining homophobia as a true extension of sexism. Very early on in the film, a clear cut distinction was made between sexual orientation and sexual behavior, and how we can change the latter but not the former. The homophobia-sexism connection was one I struggled with when I first heard about it years ago and the behavior/orientation distinction is one that I have noticed a lot of people don't seem to GET right away ... and the film does a really nice job of breaking down these ideas (and many other) so they really make sense. Masterful!

While the bias on the part of the filmmakers was obvious and evident (and also correct; they find conversion therapy as ridiculous as all intelligent people do), it was just as obvious that the directors sought out people to speak from both sides.

Final Grade: A-
This is actually something I would use as a teaching aid, if I were teaching any sort of civil rights/lgbt history/psychology class. It's concise (only 83 minutes!), basic and lets the viewer do a lot of the thinking. It's nearly 20 years later, so I would love to see an update. A lot has changed in our world in the past 20 years (plus: I'd love to see them tear Michelle Bachman and her malarky apart).

#1, No Strings Attached

It's 2012, so I'm going to give this whole blog one more shot.

It's only fair to start from #1 again, though, so this morning I bring you

#1: No Strings Attached (Ashton Kutcher & Natalie Portman, 2011)



This is certainly not a keep-you-on-the-edge-of-your-seat guessing type of film. It is pretty much disgustingly predictable from beginning through end. Boy and girl meet several times and become friends. Girl is emotionally stunted and finishing med school and can't "handle" a real relationship, so she and boy become friends with benefits. Which works out exactly .99% of the time in real life (and has an even lower success rate in the movies). Of course, because this movie is so very "edgy" and "now" it is the GIRL who does not want more commitment -- it is the dude. Which might have been edgy or modern in 1964, but not so much now.

There was also not much rise and fall -- virtually no difference between the first 10 minutes and the 10 minutes leading up to what we'll arbitrarily call the climax of the story. So since this film had absolutely nothing original to offer in terms of plot, it had two things to fall back on: dialogue and acting.

The Acting:
I'm sorry, but I'm just unable to deal with Kutcher as a romantic lead -- as someone that as a 20-something female I'm supposed to find desirable. I just don't. And it's not because he's a dude, either ... because I can totally get behind Ryan Gosling or someone as a romantic lead ... you know? So that was rough.

Natalie Portman had some incredibly hilarious moments as Emma, where her character reminded me of her role in Garden State, all quirky and fast and funny. There were also some great characters in the movie (in fact, I prefer pretty much all of the cast to Mr. Kutcher), played by very fun actors such as Kevin Kline (playing Kutcher's father) and Mindy Kaling (of The Office) as one of Portman's roommates.

The Dialogue:
I can't even get to much into this, it's so painful. I'm just going to share with you this climactic moment:

"I'm warning you ... if you come any closer ... I may never let you go."

Yeah, this was a SERIOUS line. My eyes almost rolled themselves out of my head at that one.
So the dialogue ranged from that to slightly-less-wtf ... not the high point of the movie.

Final Grade: C-
Portman and the cast of supporting actors saved this one from the D zone, but only just barely.

34. The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie (2010, Direct to Video Animated)

34. The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie (2010, Direct-to-Video Animated)

I'm just going to be honest: I'm not a big fan of the raunchy, go-out-of-my-way-to-be-offensive style comedy that the Drawn Together franchise uses. Do I find it genuinely offensive? Not really -- most of the time it's very sarcastic and quite clever, which is definitely more my style. So while the writers are clearly quite capable of a more mature style of comedy, yet for some reason there's a whole bunch of people who prefer all the cerebral junk delivered in a tasty potty humor shell. And I find the gratuitous raunch (raunchiness for raunchiness' sake!) kind of off-putting. But not offensive.

So with that in mind, I decided to check out the movie (I had never seen the series) prepared to roll my eyes a lot.

To my surprise, I actually liked the movie. There was plenty of gratuitous raunch, but it was all just so very, very funny. The story was fast-paced and there were some very well-written barbs in there. I may just have to check out the series now ...

Final Grade: B-

33. The Stepfather (2009, Thriller)

33. The Stepfather (2009, Thriller)

If I had seen this when I was about sixteen (and was thus part of the target audience), I really would have loved it. So, in that sense, this remake was really well done! Just enough blood to be gross and enough crazy to be interesting, but definitely not scary enough to give me nightmares.

I was very pleasantly surprised by the acting. Dylan Walsh and Penn Badgley, in particular, did pretty well with what they were given. The writing of this film was not great ... or even remotely original. It fits every aspect of the Teen Thriller Archetype and was less boring than 2007's Disturbia.



The movie didn't require any brainwork but was still quite a tasty way to pass some time. It was fun and got the pulse racing a few times.

Final Grade: C

32. Sex and the City II (2010, Comedy)

32. Sex and the City II (2010, Comedy)

There's not really a whole lot to say about this one that hasn't been said before (and isn't exactly what you'd expect.

If you're a fan of the series and enjoy(ed) watching the evolution of these characters, then the movie is fairly satisfying as an end to the series. My friend said that it felt much more like a long, extended episode than the first movie did. And I am inclined to agree.

Samantha was on her absolute worst behavior, Charlotte's image of perfection was perfect yet again crumbled and Miranda was as hilarious and neurotic as always! Carrie, of course, continued to spew her same misinformed ideas about healthy relationships. Delicious!

Final Grade: B+

31. Cropsey (2010, Documentary)

31. Cropsey (2010, Documentary)

This movie was about Cropsey, a mythical serial killer in Staten Island. He is the man parents warn their children about in order to keep them from wandering into the woods at night. All of Staten Island assumed Cropsey was just a story until developmentally disabled children began disappearing. Cropsey

It sounds really interesting: dark, mysterious with just a touch of social justice? Meh. It was actually rather dull -- I started nodding off in the theater. Most dull was the fact that the documentary never actually went anywhere. Every time I thought it was leading to somewhere stupendous, I was let down. It was frustrating. And boring.

I was also quite annoyed by how various people (director, narrator) kept going on and on and on about how this documentary (a NINE YEAR PROJECT) raised more questions rather than giving any answers -- like that's a good thing. Yes, inquiry is an important part of learning and yes, all great research initially raises more questions than answers. After nine years, though, wouldn't you think there would be some answers? To brag about the fact that there are no answers rather than address it as an unfortunate reality seems lazy.

The most interesting parts were the parts that examined the investigation and trial of Andre Rand, who was ultimately found guilty of kidnapping and murdering two of the girls. The evidence was circumstantial at best and the whole ordeal really highlighted how great the need to place blame is for some communities. And, truly, at the end of the movie I wasn't sure whether Rand was a scapegoat or a criminal. And if the movie had presented itself as an examination of social justice and trial, that would have been great.

I think the filmmakers were trying to do too much. They had two major projects: 1. examination of how an urban legend is used within a community and 2. examination of social justice and crime in America. And it was just too much for one movie.

Final Grade: C

30. Elegy (2008, Drama)

30. Elegy (2008, Drama)

This was really beautiful, from the cinematography to the language to the music to the stunning Penelope Cruz. The movie was rife with stereotypes but I wasn’t bored.

I’m not I will ever understand why people push one another away. I’m not sure anyone in the world ever will. The prevalence of aversion to true trust and intimacy is so perplexing, particularly since it is something that is clearly good for us. It enriches our lives and helps us to grow. That is not to say that the presence of another is absolutely necessary for a full and good life. I’m just talking trends in human behavior!

So … that’s what the movie is about, more or less. And it had the impact you might expect. So it was a beautifully-made movie that told a sad, effective, touching story.

I don’t know what my problem is, but I just couldn’t get over how sad so much of it was. One of my high school English teachers / drama coaches was fond of saying “A movie should be like a two-hour escape from real life.” And as much as those perfect, Hollywood endings make me roll my eyes, a big part of me gets equally exasperated at filmmakers who seem so eager to deny me the joy of a wholly unrealistic happy ending.

Final Grade: B