#1, No Strings Attached

It's 2012, so I'm going to give this whole blog one more shot.

It's only fair to start from #1 again, though, so this morning I bring you

#1: No Strings Attached (Ashton Kutcher & Natalie Portman, 2011)



This is certainly not a keep-you-on-the-edge-of-your-seat guessing type of film. It is pretty much disgustingly predictable from beginning through end. Boy and girl meet several times and become friends. Girl is emotionally stunted and finishing med school and can't "handle" a real relationship, so she and boy become friends with benefits. Which works out exactly .99% of the time in real life (and has an even lower success rate in the movies). Of course, because this movie is so very "edgy" and "now" it is the GIRL who does not want more commitment -- it is the dude. Which might have been edgy or modern in 1964, but not so much now.

There was also not much rise and fall -- virtually no difference between the first 10 minutes and the 10 minutes leading up to what we'll arbitrarily call the climax of the story. So since this film had absolutely nothing original to offer in terms of plot, it had two things to fall back on: dialogue and acting.

The Acting:
I'm sorry, but I'm just unable to deal with Kutcher as a romantic lead -- as someone that as a 20-something female I'm supposed to find desirable. I just don't. And it's not because he's a dude, either ... because I can totally get behind Ryan Gosling or someone as a romantic lead ... you know? So that was rough.

Natalie Portman had some incredibly hilarious moments as Emma, where her character reminded me of her role in Garden State, all quirky and fast and funny. There were also some great characters in the movie (in fact, I prefer pretty much all of the cast to Mr. Kutcher), played by very fun actors such as Kevin Kline (playing Kutcher's father) and Mindy Kaling (of The Office) as one of Portman's roommates.

The Dialogue:
I can't even get to much into this, it's so painful. I'm just going to share with you this climactic moment:

"I'm warning you ... if you come any closer ... I may never let you go."

Yeah, this was a SERIOUS line. My eyes almost rolled themselves out of my head at that one.
So the dialogue ranged from that to slightly-less-wtf ... not the high point of the movie.

Final Grade: C-
Portman and the cast of supporting actors saved this one from the D zone, but only just barely.