31. Cropsey (2010, Documentary)

31. Cropsey (2010, Documentary)

This movie was about Cropsey, a mythical serial killer in Staten Island. He is the man parents warn their children about in order to keep them from wandering into the woods at night. All of Staten Island assumed Cropsey was just a story until developmentally disabled children began disappearing. Cropsey

It sounds really interesting: dark, mysterious with just a touch of social justice? Meh. It was actually rather dull -- I started nodding off in the theater. Most dull was the fact that the documentary never actually went anywhere. Every time I thought it was leading to somewhere stupendous, I was let down. It was frustrating. And boring.

I was also quite annoyed by how various people (director, narrator) kept going on and on and on about how this documentary (a NINE YEAR PROJECT) raised more questions rather than giving any answers -- like that's a good thing. Yes, inquiry is an important part of learning and yes, all great research initially raises more questions than answers. After nine years, though, wouldn't you think there would be some answers? To brag about the fact that there are no answers rather than address it as an unfortunate reality seems lazy.

The most interesting parts were the parts that examined the investigation and trial of Andre Rand, who was ultimately found guilty of kidnapping and murdering two of the girls. The evidence was circumstantial at best and the whole ordeal really highlighted how great the need to place blame is for some communities. And, truly, at the end of the movie I wasn't sure whether Rand was a scapegoat or a criminal. And if the movie had presented itself as an examination of social justice and trial, that would have been great.

I think the filmmakers were trying to do too much. They had two major projects: 1. examination of how an urban legend is used within a community and 2. examination of social justice and crime in America. And it was just too much for one movie.

Final Grade: C

30. Elegy (2008, Drama)

30. Elegy (2008, Drama)

This was really beautiful, from the cinematography to the language to the music to the stunning Penelope Cruz. The movie was rife with stereotypes but I wasn’t bored.

I’m not I will ever understand why people push one another away. I’m not sure anyone in the world ever will. The prevalence of aversion to true trust and intimacy is so perplexing, particularly since it is something that is clearly good for us. It enriches our lives and helps us to grow. That is not to say that the presence of another is absolutely necessary for a full and good life. I’m just talking trends in human behavior!

So … that’s what the movie is about, more or less. And it had the impact you might expect. So it was a beautifully-made movie that told a sad, effective, touching story.

I don’t know what my problem is, but I just couldn’t get over how sad so much of it was. One of my high school English teachers / drama coaches was fond of saying “A movie should be like a two-hour escape from real life.” And as much as those perfect, Hollywood endings make me roll my eyes, a big part of me gets equally exasperated at filmmakers who seem so eager to deny me the joy of a wholly unrealistic happy ending.

Final Grade: B

29. The Clique (2009, Comedy)

29. The Clique (2009, Comedy)

As someone who spends a great deal of time with teenage girls – as well as a survivor of that whole … scene -- I am fascinated by that whole queen bee / mean girl dynamic. So I guess that’s why this movie wound up on my Netflix queue. As to why I spent a Friday night watching it, I can’t really tell you. Blame it on the warm weather; blame it on a long work week; blame it on the fact that I have 9 instructional days until sweet, sweet freedom! For whatever reason, I settled in this evening for some wholesome PG fun.

Did you know that the word “bitch” (and not in the context of dog breeding) is allowed in a PG film? Yeah, neither did I. Until … The Clique! This movie was fucking crazy.

There are so many things I want to say about this movie – far too many for me to stick with standard narrative flow. I must create a list of the things that made this movie so unbelievably, jaw-droppingly insane:

1. Claire. Now, I am not one for Blaming The Victim … but whoa. This girl was a major glutton for punishment; no matter how rude and hostile the clique became, Claire kept coming back for more! I think after a couple of harsh run-ins most of us would just cut our losses and avoid the Queen Bee. Claire, on the other hand, actively sought her out. It was really uncomfortable … like watching a gal with her skirt tucked into her tights.

2. Massie. In no universe could this girl be 12. And by “this girl” I am referring both to the actress and the character. Also: she was a completely fabulous supervilliain. Really just over-the-top and campy.

3. Vincent. The flaming, flamboyant art teacher. So exceptionally bitchy! I loved him!

4. Chris Abeley. The actor was kind of a nonentity, but I cannot get over how awesome it was that all the star-struck girls kept referring to him by his full name. Hee! Hello teenage years! Such a weird, weird hilarious formality. Also, they sometimes call him “Chris Babely” which is also hilarious and awesome.

Oh, man. The acting was horrible. I mean … just awful, awful, awful. The characters and storyline were completely implausible. And I was wholly entertained the entire time.

I doubt I will ever want to watch this movie again (which is why it will not get the coveted F grade), but it certainly was fun while it lasted (unlike New York City Serenade, which is probably the worst a movie can be without being so-bad-it’s-good)!

Final Grade: D

28. Commune (2005, Documentary)

28. Commune (2005, Documentary)

In the past year or so, it has come to my attention that even if I am not exactly a hippie, I do exhibit some hippie-ish tendencies (into which we need not delve further!). Anyway, one aspect of hippiedom that has always both intrigued and repelled me (not in an "Ewww, gross!" sense, more in a "Wow -- that lifestyle would just NOT work for me sense) is the commune. Although I am way into people generally looking out for one another and embracing all sorts of families, I am perplexed by how often communes seem to begin with completely sexist models of living and how quickly they become totally corrupt or anarchic. Call it human nature, I guess.

Anyway, Commune did not disappoint. While the structure could have used some work (I would have liked to see a slightly stricter narrative structure; it was kind of hard to get a linear grasp on anything), I really enjoyed the integration of past and present interviews and pictures/film. The director seemed to focus on the motif of how the desire for freedom can actually become really stifling and restrictive (seen mostly in the examples of lovers who felt like they couldn't make an agreement to be exclusive and Elsa Marley's (one of the founders of the commune at Black Bear Ranch) desire to create art). Maybe I enjoyed it because that's one of the things that worries me so much about these structures.

Overall, the director did a good job of presenting a fairly balanced view of things, highlighting both highs and lows, seeing people talk about great experiences and sa dones, people who loved the lifestyle and those who hated it (Michael Moore he was not!). And this movie was just the right length! 78 minutes -- perfection. Long enough that I feel like we really got into some neat stuff, but short enough that it didn't become boring.

Final Grade: A-

Mass Update. (Movies 17-27)

The prodigal blogger returns.
Since March 7th I have seen several movies but have not been blogging. At all! My bad. In the interest of time, I am just going to post names of movies I have watched and overall grades. Maybe someday I will come back and write fuller reviews. Probably not.

March 7th

17. Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland: The 3D IMAX Experience (2010, Fantasy)

Final Grade: B-

March 27th
18. Darkon (2006, Documentary)

Final Grade: B+

March 28th

19. Serving in Silence (1995, Made for TV)

Final Grade: C

March 29th

20. When Night is Falling (1995, Romance)

Final Grade: C-

March 31st

21. Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009, Comedy)

Final Grade: B-

April 10th
22. The Big Lebowski (2009, Comedy)
Final Grade: B

23. Bingo! The Documentary (1999, Documentary)
Final Grade: B+


24. Arranged (2007, Drama)
Final Grade: A

April 17th
25. The Alphabet Killer (2008, Thriller)
Final Grade: D

April 18th
26. We Live in Public (2008, Documentary)
Final Grade: B+

April 25th
27. Sunshine Cleaning (2008, Dramedy)
Final Grade: B+/A-

At this point in my project ...

There are 223 days left in 2010 (Approximately 30 weeks)
I have 73 movies left to watch.

This means I need to watch approximately 2.5 movies a week in order to stay on track.
I had better get to work!

16. Congo (1995, Action)

16. Congo (1995, Action)

Action is not usually my style (although the beautiful Laura Linney totally is), but I have been obsessed with this movie since the first day I saw it on the shelf at Blockbuster -- you know, back when people still went to Blockbuster. I was twelve, though, and not in charge of video rentals. I am proud to say that now I am almost 27 and I will watch Congo if I darn well please!

Like so many other things we insist we will do once we're old enough (tattoos and jello shots come to mind), Congo was about five parts awesome and fifty parts WHAT.WERE.YOU.THINKING?!

So let's address the obvious features of Congo:

1. Talking Gorilla -- kind of unusual but it's real, so whatever.
2. Civil War in the Congo -- again, very sadly real. What I can't quite buy is that so many people would just blatantly ignore the civil unrest and go ahead crossing borders willy nilly
3. Active Volcano -- once again, very real ... and once again, I can't quite buy that people would insist on blatantly ignoring the she's-about-to-blow situation (perhaps a metaphor for the script?) for the sake of gorilla-returning missions/nefarious secret missions (which leads me to ....)
4. CIA! CIA! CIA! -- again, the CIA is just as real as communicative gorillas, civil unrest and volcanoes, and OF COURSE they would be involved here. Such flat characters, though! I swear, if they had been any more dastardly stereotypical, they would have been twirling their handlebar moustaches whilst tying the beautiful Laura Linney (or heck, Amy the Talking Gorilla) to railroad tracks. Or the active volcano.
5. Laser Crystals -- Because, I guess, items 1-4 were JUST NOT ENOUGH TO WORK WITH, Crichton included the fact that in the middle of this Congo jungle (and right on top of the volcano) there are FLESH-EATING ALBINO GORILLAS burdened with the ANCIENT TASK of guarding LASER CRYSTALS. Read that again. Seriously.

So we have these five uh ... situations all tied together with mangled accents, astoundingly poor dialogue and questionable acting. And the beautiful Laura Linney, of course. When I think about movies, and what makes a specific movie an A+ or an F-, one thing I must consider is the Rewatch Factor. Will I want to rewatch this again in a day? A week? Five years? Never?

So even though it is a cesspool of all that was the mid-90s action genre, Congo has a magnificently high Rewatch Factor (I couldn't stop talking about it for a week and found myself trying to convince people to watch it with me, even as I complained about How!Bad! it was) ... and has catapulted itself into the coveted So Bad It's Good category, earning it a Final Grade of F for FREAKING AWESOME!

(As mentioned with New York Serenade, a genuinely shitty movie with a Rewatch Factor of -29, I feel that an F can only be earned by a movie that is So Bad It's Good ... which Congo definitely is. Hey. Want to watch it with me?)

15. Very Young Girls (2008, Documentary)

15. Very Young Girls (2008 Documentary)

I am going to come right out and be honest about the fact that this was not a well-made Documentary. The cinematography was shaky and the narrative did not flow well. That said, this was a very powerful and important movie and I am glad that someone made it.

The film centers around the organization Girls Education Monitoring Services (GEMS), a group which provides shelter and education to young women who have fallen prey to sexual exploitation.

I was touched by the stories that came from the group -- stories of triumph and of relapse, of degredation and acceptance. I was so touched, in fact, that the second the movie ended I e-mailed the organization to find out how I can help.

Final Grade: A (really, it deserves a B/B-, but it actually spurred me into action, which I can't really say about anything else in this dang project)